I put a picture on my mirror of another time and place and weight that I existed in, but that I no longer embodied. I was told it would be good motivation, that it would make me strive to get back to that skinnier, toned, tanned girl who smiled back at me every morning.
I was not told it would make me look at myself with disgust every morning, no longer recognizing the nakedness that reflected back.
But my lack of recognition was not because of my physical state, or my newly appointed love handles, or the cellulite that finally crept in, or the pores that just seem to grow deeper. No. I didn't recognize myself because I was completely devastated by the lack of joy that overwhelmed me. I was doing this to myself. I was the thief of my own joy.
So only a few weeks into this "betterment exercise" I took it down and threw it in the trash.
No woman, I repeat, No woman, on this Earth has a perfect body image. We all have that "one thing," those "couple things," we would change if we could. But why? When you get to "that place" will you be happier? Have more friends? Get the right guy? I'm telling you from experience that the answer is no, because joy is the most important ingredient. Without joy and happiness how can the next two follow? And that is the absolute best news I could ever give you. Because it is attainable.
I watched this video got chills.
http://darlingmagazine.org/
That picture on our mirror does not give motivation, it gives condemnation.
How much more beautiful would we be if we replaced it with a sign that reads
"I, have a beautiful body."
Now, I feel the most beautiful when...
I let my thoughts, rather than my outfit, do the talking. My husband comes home with flowers and tells me they remind him of me. I'm sitting in a circle with my best friends, in sweats, talking about Jesus. I'm laughing about something ridiculous with my husband after we've just eaten dinner on the couch and watched Parenthood (inside look into our Thursday nights). I'm dancing.
When do you feel the most beautiful?
